I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Randomize
