I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
