Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
