Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Randomize
