we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
