Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
high people should be assigned attendants
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
