some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize
