ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
