I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Randomize
