You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
