Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
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