cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
Randomize
