We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
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