Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
