Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Randomize
