Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
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