my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
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