Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Randomize
