She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Randomize
