dude i'm inner monologue high
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
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