do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
Randomize
