Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
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