Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
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