He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
As shirtless as possible
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
