butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
she looked like the before picture.
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Randomize
