i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
