Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
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