i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize