The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Randomize
