he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
