dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
