You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
