Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
