My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
