who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
Randomize
