Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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