Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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