I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
is this the sara with the beer cane?
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Randomize
