to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
