I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
It's never too late to be topless.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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