Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
