Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
