the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
Randomize
