hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
Randomize
