My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
