...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
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