I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
Acid is not a monday night drug
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
