is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
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