Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
