it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
Found the puke drawer
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
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